I'm a slave to my conscience. I often look to far into my interactions with others. You could say I'm self conscious. I get butt-hurt about stupid shit. I've been this way my whole life, and despite what I've done in attempt to suppress this attribute, pretty sure I'm going to die this way.
Good thing I've got these puppies to make me normal...
Just kidding. I'm not a pill popping machine. Luckily, I was forced to confront my demons before being offered this escape, and I am thankful for every day that I can be ME instead of just a xanied out drone. But its a hard road, particular because I have no sympathy for my kind. I've spent enough time in 'impoverished' areas to know that I really, truly, should not be bitching, about anything, ever. I've got things pretty fucking good compared to a lot of people out there. But, alas, I'm only human. I still get bummed out when things aren't going my way. It sucks, I'm not to proud of it, but I tell you what, confronting this part of myself has so far been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.
For years, I've tried to deny this part of me, and in doing so, began to wither away into nothingness. I was a sorry sight. The Lost Boys Years:
'The Lost Boys Years' By Maximilian Barlerin 2005. Pen and Ink on Paper.
A dark period of my life. Came out with a pretty negative outlook towards humanity. I still shudder thinking about it...
It's almost 10 years now since those days, and I have spent that time trying to rebuild myself from the ground up. To do this I had to dig deep to confront the very source of the issues that were having the most negative impacts on my life, and I'm still digging...
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